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English extraction
Preface:
The protagonist of the story is SJ, a thoughtful and introspective person who navigates a world filled with personal and family challenges. SJ faces her past directly. Throughout her journey, she deals with complicated emotions related to her relationship with her father, reflecting on feelings of abandonment and abuse. Her father symbolizes pain, regret, and unresolved issues in her life. As she revisits their past, her memories are tinged with anger.
Intro:
I've thought about murder a lot. Suicide—because I hated myself? Some people believe suicide is the answer to depression. Five years ago, I considered shooting my biological father, and a few years later, I wondered if I would have the courage to kill my drug-addicted brother. Self-defense or cold-blooded murder? Years ago, I had an abortion. My mother also wanted to abort me, but at that time, abortions were still illegal. I just took a pill, and poof, the baby turned into liquid. Sinner! The innocent blood on my hands keeps me captive in Satan's grasp. Or are there second chances?
I was 45 years old when I started writing these words, the same age my mother was when she died—I still don't know the cause. My mother was homeless, a hobo or a tramp who slept on the streets.
Page 19
“Go get him now!” he roars and storms off to his room.
Someone went to get Kallie, and when he walked into the kitchen, the madman charged at him and pressed the gun right into his face.
“I'll shoot you to death,” he spits, cocking the hammer back.
“Grandpa!” my daughter screams in terror.
“I will kill you, motherfucker!”
I recognize the dreaded demon in my father's eyes and can't bring myself to move or speak. Anxiety constricts my throat. The look on Kallie's face is one of disgust and hostility—his eyes burn with hatred.
“Dad,” John says quietly.
The mad man spins around and stomps his feet loudly.
“Little dead bastard, fucking fucker!” he yells as he storms into his room and slams the door shut.
